#NonficNov Review: Unmentionable by Therese O’Neill

Title: Unmentionable: The Victorian Lady’s Guide to Sex, Marriage and Manners

Published: October 25th 2016, Little, Brown & Company

Status: Read November 2019

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My Thoughts:

With an irreverent presentation, journalist slash humourist Therese Oneill invites the reader to accompany her as she peels back the romanticised veneer of of a middle to upper class lady’s life in the 19th century in Unmentionable: The Victorian Lady’s Guide to Sex, Marriage, and Manners.

Next time you imagine yourself dancing prettily around a grand ballroom in an elaborate gown, know this…your underwear is crotchless (even at that time of the month), your never washed dress is marked by soot and sweat, your face powder is poisoning you, and the room reeks of mixed floral scents which only just barely cover the smells of rarely washed bodies.

The supper feast laid out on the table has been made from poorly preserved fruits and vegetables, and badly cooked, unrefrigerated meats, all prepared and served by unwashed hands, so it’s likely you will spend several hours later in the evening on the chamber pot, or close stool.

And that handsome gentleman across the room who you hope will invite you to dance…if he picks up your dropped handkerchief he may ask for your hand in marriage, after which he will none too gently insist you bear him a son, and visit prostitutes while you are indisposed, eventually infecting you with gonorrhoea or syphilis, which your doctor will refuse to diagnose to protect your delicate sensibilities. And should you have the temerity to complain about any of this, you will be declared hysterical and institutionalised.

The truth, quite frankly, is grim but Oneill imparts this information in a manner that, laden with snark, is hilarious. I found Unmentionable fascinating and absolutely entertaining, however I recommend you give this a miss if you are a fan of Victorian era romance novels or movies, you will never feel quite the same way about them again.

Oh, and I will never be eating Kellogg’s Cornflakes again.

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